A mask for a face

A reflection

I stand there transfixed as I look upon a face that resembles mine.

I stare at this face for what feels like forever—utterly moved by every inch of it. I’m moved by all the different contradictory expressions plastered on this seemingly expressionless face. A face that says a thousand words while saying none.

I know all too well the agony and angst that troubles this person but I’m amazed by how little it translates on the face.
I’m perplexed by the mask of courage this face puts on, because I know all too well that nothing could be farther from the truth. A facade that only I, the owner, could see past.

An alien face, A mask of a face
A face that looks every bit mine yet looks a stranger’s

I feel for him as he lays there so fragilely, every fibre of my being urging me to reach out and hold him—embrace him
But can one really embrace the person of himself?

I stand there pondering and wondering as I look on, my mind surfing the ever rising waves of thoughts and emotions
And as the hours of the clock tick away, and the soft winds of dawn ripple through the window curtains, and the night sky grows ever paler, a moment of clarity dawns on me.
A sweet sadness, like the fragrance of jasmine and gardenia, washes over me.
A sweet sadness that comes with the satisfaction of understanding.

An understanding that in order to survive the vicious cruelty of a viper’s bite, one has to toughen his exterior. But with it comes the realization that the longer the mask remains my only front, the more I lose my true self, and the blurrier my reflection in the mirror becomes.

A realization that I need to open myself up and embrace self-awareness if I’m to break through the doubts and noise in my head. Noises that have left my mind the raging storm that it is.

A realization that it’s okay to embrace the olive branch of love and care extended by loved ones, and an understanding that being vulnerable doesn’t make me less of a man.

As all these thoughts wash over me, and the rising sun illuminates the earth, I gently walk toward this sleeping body with a face that looks like mine, embrace it, and woke up that morning a new man.